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Inbox of Anxiety sounds like a band name.
Nov. 4th, 2020 03:44 pmI have considerable anxiety over the myPITA (Provincial Intermediate and Middle Years Teachers Association) email inbox. This might have something to do with the 500 actionable emails sitting in it... and the fact that that number isn't getting smaller, even as more emails keep coming in.
The biggest problem happens when I actually close the tab/window with the myPITA inbox in it... because then it is the fear of the unknown. How much worse has it gotten?
And I procrastinate opening it... which just makes that fear worse.
In the end, once I have gathered the intestinal fortitude to deal with it, (or even if I haven't), I go about getting back into it the following way:
1. Open the browser.
2. Type in the URL, hit enter, and then walk away from the computer and do something else.
3. Wander past the computer and glance at the screen to see how bad the email count it/how different from last time I was in there.
4. Sit down and switch to another browser and do something else for a few minutes, with the inbox open in the background and visible above/to the side of the browser I'm in
5. Make the email inbox my active window and actually deal with the most recent emails.
And then I roll my eyes at myself and my ridiculous reaction to a bunch of ones and zeros.
This has just been made worse by COVID brain, since my ability to string words together has been negatively affected by this, and my exhaustion levels are so much higher than they have ever been before. Hopefully I'll be able to start once again making a dent on the emails that are piling up.
Stupid emails.
If they were all just one-action emails, it wouldn't be that bad... but often they are "ask person B for more info and then reply to person A with answer" and they get lost, or I have to remember to follow up. Or it involves me writing out a thoughtful reply with a minimum of misunderstandings involved. Or I have to think about whether the request is even doable.
Anyways... stupid emails. Stupid anxiety over emails.
Do you ever wonder how we go to this point from a creature whose primary focus was in finding enough food to eat, bonding with pack mates, and avoiding predators?
Like...what the actual fuck, evolution...
The biggest problem happens when I actually close the tab/window with the myPITA inbox in it... because then it is the fear of the unknown. How much worse has it gotten?
And I procrastinate opening it... which just makes that fear worse.
In the end, once I have gathered the intestinal fortitude to deal with it, (or even if I haven't), I go about getting back into it the following way:
1. Open the browser.
2. Type in the URL, hit enter, and then walk away from the computer and do something else.
3. Wander past the computer and glance at the screen to see how bad the email count it/how different from last time I was in there.
4. Sit down and switch to another browser and do something else for a few minutes, with the inbox open in the background and visible above/to the side of the browser I'm in
5. Make the email inbox my active window and actually deal with the most recent emails.
And then I roll my eyes at myself and my ridiculous reaction to a bunch of ones and zeros.
This has just been made worse by COVID brain, since my ability to string words together has been negatively affected by this, and my exhaustion levels are so much higher than they have ever been before. Hopefully I'll be able to start once again making a dent on the emails that are piling up.
Stupid emails.
If they were all just one-action emails, it wouldn't be that bad... but often they are "ask person B for more info and then reply to person A with answer" and they get lost, or I have to remember to follow up. Or it involves me writing out a thoughtful reply with a minimum of misunderstandings involved. Or I have to think about whether the request is even doable.
Anyways... stupid emails. Stupid anxiety over emails.
Do you ever wonder how we go to this point from a creature whose primary focus was in finding enough food to eat, bonding with pack mates, and avoiding predators?
Like...what the actual fuck, evolution...